Thoughts on Numbness

One of my sidelines of study recently has been besetting sin and the provision of God's grace to overcome them. In my meditations I have come to realize a good number of people (most? all?) use a variety of sins as a means to numb themselves against love. While I wholeheartedly agree with the Augustinian view that we are trying to fill a God-shapped hole in our hearts with all manner of things, I believe as we come to realize certain areas of our lives are crying out desparately for the love of God (even the love of God as expressed through the love of others--spouses, family, friends, general philanthropic love) we are equally aware that even unconditional love requires a response that is more effort than we are willing to put forth to receive it. And how much more so is this the case when that love is convenantal--where there is returned expression of love and commitment to stick by love through thick and thin. So we take our little idols--TV, alcohol, jobs, video games, porn, constantly vying for the attention of others--and we attempt to numb ourselves. These numbing distractions serve to feign immunity against the hurt of lovelessness while simultaneously creating a barrier to satisfy our souls with the one thing that will: the love of God.

Now my wife Kelly has pointed out that sometimes the numbness is not even a conscious choice. And I have to acknowledge this often is the case. And many people do not know that they are in reality craving God's incomparable love. But I still believe in such cases we subconsciously count the cost--albeit with bad logic or incomplete information--and all we discern is that our current idols are easier to hold onto. They don't seem worth the risk. Better the devil we know than the sacrifice for an unknown quantity. Is it any wonder that people recoil at the Gospel? People say they want peace, redemption, success, fulfillment, and security--but they want it on their own terms. And I am not exempt from idol-chasing in those hidden areas of my life that no one sees, and that I myself am oblivious to until the Holy Spirit mentions them to me. Am I ready to relinquish my numbing idols and let God pour out His love in the dark places within? Even the places that sting? And can I help others be aware of the same conundrum in their lives without being a hypocrite?